1. |
i saw you, sparrow
01:57
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2. |
inaccessible
02:33
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listening to the radio
i pray for a foul
cus the horse-hockey game is my troubles
and i pray for a foul and i'm
I'm struck
I have been inaccessible for reasons that arent me
i have been inaccessible for reasons that were not me
they were my father, they were my father, they were my father
but i don't know what you mean when you say that i am inaccessible!
And i don't mean to be mean
and i know that you're waiting for me in your house of dirt
And i know that
I have hurt you, I have hurt you, I have hurt you
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3. |
Porch Yell
03:56
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you said that that that that that that that that that
oh, you said so many things!
you said, you said it, you said it, oh you know that you said
so many things but
i only listened to what I knew already.
You said that.....
there were too many things on the window sill
for you to even see what was out there
and I cut down the tree
so that maybe you could see from outside?
And I know how to not point the finger
but I'm gonna do it anyways
and i know that she doesn't like it
but I am screaming on the porch-
"Mama go tell!
Go tell Aunt Sandra that the hot water's on!
Go tell her that you know it might run out
if you dont come now, it might run out if you dont come now..."
and you said so many damn things!
but i was only listening to what i already knew.
and I don't wanna learn anything new-
I know too much already! And I'm still learning!
I'm still learning....
And you said so many things you could have wrote a letter!
but you didn't - no instead you just talked to me
and i had to stand there
and BLOCK YOU OUT!
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4. |
Fire/Fist
02:31
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Well
I've been giving so much of my time away to other people
I dont think there's any time left for myself!
But I don't really want to be alone, no i dont really want to be alone
Fire-first, you say you're afraid of how you come accross
but I don't really think you care at all
and now i'm PISSED OFF
my gentleness is being challenged
and i got way less delicate, I got hard, I got mean
Been hanging out with coyote, I think she's rubbing off on me
Fire-fist, I look ridiculous
I'm dripping water in the hospital
I'm all alone and anxious
Fire-fist, im surrounded by 4 nurses
They say "honey, don't look at it"
the whole time I was crying
They said, "does anyone know youre here?"
I say "it doesn't really matter to me"
and i wanted to call you, but I wanted to be stronger than that
but I really didn't want to be alone, I didn't want to be alone
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5. |
Song for Jonathon
05:19
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Jonathon you have so much to prove to yourself
but they don't really seem to believe you
or like you
but jonathon, you have so much to lose, and you will
fly south by yourself, its the only way to really
FEEL like yourself, feel like yourself
the flock back home cut you off their rope
and the ocean feels like concrete
but the sky must meet somewhere in between
where it is youre from & where youre going.
When i was 9 years old i lived with my mother at crossroads.
There i saw you in the TV room-
you were on VHS stacked on top of Scooby-Doo
my mother put you on the TV
and I watched that bird while she attended a meeting
that afternoon i learned just what it really means
to not know what you are but still know just what you need.
A single seagull takes up the whole sky
like the night before
he's a shooting star on Earth
He's the fastest diving bird
the sun god made way for his ways
cut out boredom, anger, and fear
he was excommunicated- so it goes that he was lifted!
If the tower did not fall, he'd be the same as all seagulls
but why does this have to hurt?
Why can't I just be loved?
Well you are and you'll find that out!
its deeper down than those fish you've found-
but if you truly seek it you might not come back up.
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6. |
Paintings
04:27
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Im sitting in my room surrounded by my paintings
and they're all self portraits
I dont wanna be reminded
Theres a snake biting a wild dog
he howls but does nothing else
his tongue looks like it came from hell
i bet his feelings hurt like hell
oh my god
The stork keeps his claws in her back
she's crouched down and his wings are spread out
her palms are stretched out placed in his mouth
i bet his talons hurt like hell
oh my god
red-rabbit's turning into a woman
shaking hands at goddess, screaming
"What am I here for!"
They forced this whole world onto my back
and I havent seen my mother since
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7. |
Bad Dog
04:27
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When i get back to the southwest, i know that
my sadness will be left in the north-eastern winters!
When i get back to the southwest, ill learn how
bad dogs have good days
good dogs just whimper
The south did me some DIRTY DEEDS
took of my boots to wash my feet
i boiled him with sugar beets
oh God, why did you have to leave me?
i said, "Oh mister Satan, won't you clean me of my feelings?
I'm so goddamned dirty &
I carry it all with me
fill my body up with chlorine, toss it in the kitchen sink
I have hurt the one I love
I am hurting everyone."
He said, "I ain't got no washtub for your sins
but i could waterboard you in
rattlesnake venom"
At the ranch in West Virginia
there is something in the kitchen
banging pots at 330 in the morning
and it asks me how i am!
i say, "I am fine, sometimes"
sometimes...
The wind sounds just like people do,
I wonder if we're passing through
Caught in a wind of missing you,
its pushing me from something new
When I get back to the Southwest I know that
all my bad shit will be left in that winter
I ain't got no washtub for your sins
but I could waterboard you in
rattlesnake venom
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8. |
By Myself Mornings
06:01
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I will be 20 soon
got my whole life to lose & ive already lost you
and there are many strings pulling me and tearing me apart
the damned dog just laughs at me,
he knows what's going on and
I am filthy with feelings
my sun casts its own shadows but still peels my skin off!
sometimes i live inside my own insides and digest my anger
I feel reckoned with, and run-over, run-over
but look what's happened, im rotten now, rotten now!
I used to be just a little bit kinder, but
when my friend told me how i hurt him last winter bad
i broke my phone so there was no way to call him back
It's bright up there and being mean
where is the moon when the moon is waning?
its so damn early its only me on congress st
Ive got a routine for these by-myself-mornings!
Look what's happened now, look what's happened now!
Oh blue, wont you make it south?
your art fills up the room with a quiet sound
but she says "I hate that painting, its off-center, and unfinished, and ugly!"
well i disagree, in fact it's my favorite piece
It's still off-center but softer and calming now
the mint behind my neck is making me drowsy
brewed some bustello cus it's late and what my Nana did
for family dinners so we were better at talking
but look what's happened now, look what's happened now!
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9. |
||||
I don't have stamina
I fall off my hinges with time
I don't have stamina
I fall off my bike
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10. |
Song for Olive
01:14
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11. |
yeah, chad's an idiot
01:45
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12. |
Slump
02:56
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13. |
Watership Down
02:13
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August West Portland, Maine
green light!
swamp swan,
old man coyote
aint got no swash
poem and songs by August West
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