1. |
Light in August
03:58
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I've got a skunk on my shoulder,
turned 20 this year but I feel like I'm getting
somewhere,
now I see God most every morning.
& her strings are pulling me up
and though they crack me up, most of the time
they just tear me apart
The damned dog, he just laughs at me -
he's a dead dog - you know just what is going on -
and I am, I am, I'm filthy with feelings
my sun cast his own shadows
but still peels my skin off
Sometimes I live inside
my own insides
& I digest my anger
I feel reckoned with
and run over
The hand of God sets my mind right-kind
and I see light in August,
I see Light
Daisy died 2 weeks before you left
Well I guess you got put out in the dog house again
well, I've been working on my serendipity - Oh,
I know I'm not alone
on these by-myself mournings
oh my-
Dog barks
but don't I feel better than this?
I'm rocking on my front porch
and my televisions always going
the day runs itself out again
just like the day before that one did & the day before that one,
I looked again, at the sun,
and he looked just like a swan or a ghost hanging above my own shape
well, Amelia's in the basement, Amelia's in a painting
and oh, Blue, won't you make it south?
Your art - it fills up my room with this quiet sound
Well she says,
"I hate that painting! It's off-centered and unfinished and depressing and it's goddamn ugly!"
Well I disagreed- it was my favorite piece
Just then the hand of God set my mind right-kind
and I saw light in August, I see light
& I've seen people do good without being kind.
well,
may the rain weep your name, Emily Dickinson
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2. |
Acadia
03:49
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When I hear that "Pavement" song
about being so drunk in the late August sun
I get a cigarette hand-passed down by God.
When I lit it up it was a joint - He said,
"That one was for missing the point."
I still don't get it & you're always on my mind.
Now:
I grow crop circles in my garden,
I chase my heart full of hope and desire,
Now:
I could happily lie down and die.
Still,
All the darkness in the world can't put out a single candle.
I knew you better when I didn't know myself yet. I didn't get one back, though they said that they would write me back and I still think they meant it
But why, and for how long?
Star of Wonder blinked for us in Acadia and he was sensible enough not to tell us what it meant-
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3. |
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Jonathon, you have so much to prove to yourself
but they don't really seem to believe you, or like you.
Jonathon, you have so much to lose - and you will.
Fly south by yourself - it's the only way to really feel like yourself,
and feel like yourself, you will.
The flock back home cut you off their rope
and the ocean feels like concrete
but the sky must meet somewhere in between where it is you're from
and where you're going
when I was 9 years old
I lived with my mother at cross roads
there I saw you in the TV room
you were on VHS
My mother put you on the tv
and I watched that bird while see attended a meeting
that afternoon,
A single seagull takes up the whole sky
just like the night before, he's a shooting star on earth,
he's the fastest diving bird
and I think it's so great that you wanted to come back,
and I think it's so great that you loved us like that
but I don't think I'm brave like you are
no, I don't think that I would want to come back
because to be perfectly honest with you
I don't really think that they're worth it
but I've always been more bitter than a saint.
but still - would you take me where you are, and would you make me a shooting star?
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4. |
Lost Dog From Hell
04:27
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When i get back to the southwest, i know that
my sadness will be left in the north-eastern winters!
When i get back to the southwest, ill learn how
bad dogs have good days
good dogs just whimper
The south did me some DIRTY DEEDS
took of my boots to wash my feet
i boiled him with sugar beets
oh God, why did you have to leave me?
i said, "Oh mister Satan, won't you clean me of my feelings?
I'm so goddamned dirty &
I carry it all with me
fill my body up with chlorine, toss it in the kitchen sink
I have hurt the one I love
I am hurting everyone."
He said, "I ain't got no washtub for your sins
but i could waterboard you in
rattlesnake venom"
At the ranch in West Virginia
there is something in the kitchen
banging pots at 330 in the morning
and it asks me how i am!
i say, "I am fine, sometimes"
sometimes...
The wind sounds just like people do,
I wonder if we're passing through
Caught in a wind of missing you,
its pushing me from something new
When I get back to the Southwest I know that
all my bad shit will be left in that winter
I ain't got no washtub for your sins
but I could waterboard you in
rattlesnake venom
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5. |
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You said to me "Water is the enemy" after you jumped into the Potomac river, before you jumped you asked me to tell Jasper that you loved him and that you would miss him.
Earlier that morning I climbed the mountain while you were sleeping in the hot broiler basement. Black Rock was hard - I smoked a cigarette with the Appalachian park ranger and I saw a blue hawk.
I'm gonna miss you, and you're gonna miss me, but the things you used to do really scared me. So I'm gonna choose to just let you be, than rather stay in love and be in the basement. The stairs are my ruler. My job hangs on the wall, I don't want to look at Jeff's wound. Gotta side-step the rest of my brain, dress the pus - I burned my palm and it smelled like the ocean. I slapped it just to make sure because I was shouting at the blue god, "Water me! What are me!"
Well, tell them I went to the holy mountain, and I am waiting for paint to dry.
There's no touching tips where I set my walls -
Oh, can you tell me where my angels have gone?
Well, you can tell them I went to the holy mountain, and I am waiting for paint to dry.
There's no touching tips where I set my walls, and me, and me, and me.
Anime!
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6. |
South Station Diner
04:34
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Now that I have found you,
I can finally focus on myself
I am visited by the ghost that follows you around
you've never heard her but I hear her rave everyday
and at this point I'm unsure if she can even see me,
what I move inside myself is
sharpened by my own teeth
and it rips me open to anybody who doesn't mind the smell of a skunk.
I was sitting at the south station diner
with the son of David - when he asked the waitress
for some vinegar I caught her smiling at me
They say, "you look so grounded"
but I know what you are - you're a cloud caught on fire,
The tide that returns to my center,
you're the cowboy.
And I've known you for so long. I've loved you for longer than that.
Think that I saw you in a past life, and I think that I saw you in the one before that
And when I saw the green light in you
Well I knew a part of me was a part of you
and I hope you never love anything as much as I love everything
because you're the patches that I've been missing
Coyote's tender heart is wrapped up in a wet blanket
I'm running through his ranch and I'm naked
and you radiate something I want to soak in
and you radiate something I want to sulk in
and you radiate something I want
something I want
something I want
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7. |
You Are A Crow
06:40
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The "Good Morning!" sun swallows me the moment I wake up
so I rise before the sun does
some things last a long time,
some things last a life time
Mother cow, please fly over my pain
she rolls her tongue of spirit all across my body
and cleans off my story
but you are a crow
and too sardonic for that ancient magic
You are a crow, and I am shining, shining in the meadow
You are a crow and I am something shining in the meadow,
I am something shining in the meadow
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8. |
South Carolina
03:12
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9. |
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Jesus was a sheep, was a woman, was blood
was blood running through my body like water
Chickens get a taste of my meat now
Chickens get a taste of my meat now
My old man Coyote puts a cowgirl in his coffee
she looks just like a dead gun
& I am struck quiet by it
I am left with her red sunglasses
No costume at the halloween party
that makes me an easy target I guess
she wore red sunglasses
partly cus opossum is playing dead with her compassion
again
and she's gone now- I think I wanna be gone,
wanna be gone too-
And today I was feeling a certain way
I'm down by the river filling up my double spine
Today I was feeling a certain way
I'm down by the river filling up my double spine
So it's beer in the morning for breakfast
again
and time runs out faster than I can smoke myself out of myself
ran into myself in the "Dog Hell"
and she's gone now, I think I want to be gone too
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10. |
Just a Unicorn
02:46
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I know where my blessings come from,
I know where my blessings come from
& I'm trying to be grateful for the things I have
no control over
like death and parting
I was walking down the mountain
when I started a Blue Heron I didn't see
him til he flew right past me, and I felt seen
I felt loved by my angels
oh my God, It's been a lonely year, but the heron doesn't fly a flock either
Lord, take me to the crick
let me drain myself of it, myself of it
I am suck a freak
I ain't got no courage left, I'm just a
baby bird
but at the other side of the river, I saw him
the boy who lives on the other side of the mirror
and he had two spines
and he was filling up with blues
Lord take me to the crick, let me drown myself in it,
myself in it
I am suck a freak
I ain't got no courage left, I'm just a unicorn
but at the other side of the river, I saw him
The boy who lives on the other side of the mirror
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11. |
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12. |
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13. |
Porch Yell
03:56
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you said that that that that that that that that that
oh, you said so many things!
you said, you said it, you said it, oh you know that you said
so many things but
i only listened to what I knew already.
You said that.....
there were too many things on the window sill
for you to even see what was out there
and I cut down the tree
so that maybe you could see from outside?
And I know how to not point the finger
but I'm gonna do it anyways
and i know that she doesn't like it
but I am screaming on the porch-
"Mama go tell!
Go tell Aunt Sandra that the hot water's on!
Go tell her that you know it might run out
if you dont come now, it might run out if you dont come now..."
and you said so many damn things!
but i was only listening to what i already knew.
and I don't wanna learn anything new-
I know too much already! And I'm still learning!
I'm still learning....
And you said so many things you could have wrote a letter!
but you didn't - no instead you just talked to me
and i had to stand there
and BLOCK YOU OUT!
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14. |
Been a Year
07:09
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15. |
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Jonathon you have so much to prove to yourself
but they don't really seem to believe you
or like you
but jonathon, you have so much to lose, and you will
fly south by yourself, its the only way to really
FEEL like yourself, feel like yourself
the flock back home cut you off their rope
and the ocean feels like concrete
but the sky must meet somewhere in between
where it is youre from & where youre going.
When i was 9 years old i lived with my mother at crossroads.
There i saw you in the TV room-
you were on VHS stacked on top of Scooby-Doo
my mother put you on the TV
and I watched that bird while she attended a meeting
that afternoon i learned just what it really means
to not know what you are but still know just what you need.
A single seagull takes up the whole sky
like the night before
he's a shooting star on Earth
He's the fastest diving bird
the sun god made way for his ways
cut out boredom, anger, and fear
he was excommunicated- so it goes that he was lifted!
If the tower did not fall, he'd be the same as all seagulls
but why does this have to hurt?
Why can't I just be loved?
Well you are and you'll find that out!
its deeper down than those fish you've found-
but if you truly seek it you might not come back up.
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16. |
At The End, You Meet God
04:55
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"You will have another chance to live this life" the voice ringing in my ear says
you'll wake up when you're alive
forgetting who you were
before -
and you'll keep living this life
until you've returned to the universe
and at the end, you meet God,
wearing a face that shows your whole life as it was flashing before your eyes -
do you not choose to hide?
Your face in your hands - To weep, to cry.
Do you hide your face to cry?
When your whole life flashes before your eyes
do you choose to hide your face to cry
At the end you meet God
& do you choose to hide your face in your hands to weep
when you stand to say -
"This was my human condition", and I am happy
grateful for it.
We blame God for being alive but you thank God for not dying in those times
but you thank God for not dying in those times
You'll wake up when you're alive
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17. |
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August West Portland, Maine
green light!
swamp swan,
old man coyote
aint got no swash
poem and songs by August West
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